saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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