you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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