It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
