A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize