we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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