I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I touched a dick in church today
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
