I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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