my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
