Sponge bath it is.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
