I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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