don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize