So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
