youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
