You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
