Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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