whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
