Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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