if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize