oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
