I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize