There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
