Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
