She's JV to your varsity
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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