My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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