Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
