Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
