I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Fuck appropriateness.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
