i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
