Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
