i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
