I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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