my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize