I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
