New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize