you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
