yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You smell like stripper and shame
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
And then he peed in my hair
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