I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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