when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
