So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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