The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
