gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
