If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
