sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have post one night stand depression
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
