it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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