508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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