i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize