im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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