Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize