you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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