yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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