You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
