I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Success! We fucked roommates!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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