I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
