I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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