I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
