thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Randomize
