Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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