dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
