I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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