id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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