Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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