Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
